My "Evolution" on Gay Marriage

When I first heard of the concept of gay marriage, I admit, it struck me as extreme, maybe a little unsettling. I'm not proud of that, but I'm being honest here. And I suspect many other straight people have the same initial reaction.

What I am proud of is that I quickly moved past that feeling. It was a brief evolution. I realized that gay marriage would bring great happiness and stability, not to mention financial benefits, to millions of people. And that it could not affect me in any possible way.

Since then, it's been the issue I've been the most definite on. In every other issue there are gray areas, or opponents at least have some valid points. I've never heard an argument against gay marriage that has ever had even a sliver of validity.

I realized that my initial shock just came from it being a new idea, one that changed my conception of something, namely marriage, that I was quite accustomed to. I suspect that opponents of gay marriage don't get past that initial shock. Combine that with homophobia, and you have what passes for a political stance. It's one of the flimsiest political stances in history, as there's no actual logic in it -- it's all just emotion searching for justifications.

Now that a majority of American support gay marriage, I'd like to think that logic won out, that people realized it has nothing but good effects. But I suspect that, for most people who "evolved" on it, it was really more like Rob Portman's change. In case you missed it, Portman is a Republican senator whose son is gay, and that experience convinced him that gay marriage was nothing to be afraid of.

I'm happy that emotional and personal appeals can work. But I also wish that people could more often be moved by reason. Some would call that flip-flopping, or not standing by your principles, but it's actually a necessity in any civil society to be open to changing your views when confronted with new conflicting evidence. It may not seem as macho, but it actually takes more courage to examine your beliefs and, if you were wrong, admit to being wrong than it does to refuse to even consider change.

And I'd also like to make an appeal for sometimes ignoring your emotions. I know, we're supposed to think that all emotions are valid and wonderful and etc. And you can definitely go too far by experiencing guilt and shame for feelings that you can't help feeling. I don't advocate beating yourself up about how you feel, but I do think that we'd all be well-served if we were more often objective about our emotions, thinking "This is how I feel, but let me first check if it's based in reality. If not, I don't think I'll act on it."

Anyway, that's a larger discussion. My point is, the government should order everyone to gay marry right now. The end.