Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Boring Word Origin Stories

Have you heard an interesting story about the origin of a word? If it truly is interesting, it's probably not true. In my experience, all true etymologies make for bad stories. A good story is snappy and simple: This led to this. Done. Everyone go "huh!" and move on. True etymology is always complicated and vague: Some people think it came from this, others think it might be a combination of this and this, but it's probably just a gradual shift from ... zzzzz.

Here are some examples:

OK

The Story: In "The Silver Linings Playbook," Bradley Cooper's character tells an interesting story: 

"Well, Martin Van Buren, the eighth president of the United States of America, is from Kinderhook, New York ... and he was part of a club, a men’s club, called Old Kinderhook. And if you were cool, you were in the club, they’d say, “That guy’s OK.” ‘Cause he was in the Old Kinderhooks."

The Reality: First of all, there was no club called Old Kinderhook. Van Buren was indeed from Kinderhook, New York, so his nickname was "Old Kinderhook." In 1840, he did have a campaign slogan of "Vote for OK," which popularized the word nationwide. So one small part of the story is true (i.e., Martin Van Buren is involved.)

But the word was already being used at the time, and it had nothing to do with Old Kinderhook. As is always the case with etymology, there are lots of different theories, but one is predominant. Among upper-crust New Englanders, there were two fads going on around this time: intentional misspellings and acronyms. These are the kinds of things that counted as fads in the early 1800s. You have to remember, there wasn't a lot to work with then -- they had already gone about as far as you can go with the silly outfits and wigs, and they only other things human beings had to play with in those days were wood and bad food.

(To be fair, both intentional misspellings and acronyms are still quite popular, especially among rappers --  everyone from Fabolous (sic) to KRS-One (aka "Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone") loves their wordplay-ish names. Other similarities between 1830s New Englanders and contemporary rappers: A love for applejack whiskey and a begrudging acceptance of slavery. And bling -- lots of bling.)

Anyway, "OK" came from both of the red-hot trends that were wowing fashionistas from Boston to Cambridge: It stands for "Oll korrect." An earlier version was "OW," for "Oll wright." Other hip words were "NG" for "no go," "GT" for "gone to Texas," "SP" for "small potatoes" and "ISTSTWWIOOBWBB" for "I'm sure this slavery thing will work itself out -- oh, by the way, bling bling!"

Fuck

(Apologies for the salty language, but it's hard to talk about the origin of a word without saying what the word is.)

The Story: In Ireland, couples would be put in the stocks for committing adultery. Above them a sign would say "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge In the Nude." Sometimes, to save room, the officials would abbreviate it as "FUCKIN." People would then come by and say that those people were fuckin'.

The Reality: You could actually argue that the origin of "OK" is semi-interesting. But the origin of "fuck" is really really not. Like most words, it has evolved gradually and stretches back to the days before people wrote much down. And "fuck" was definitely one that was said a lot more than it was written down. In the Middle Ages, most writing was done by the church, and the church doesn't tend to use "fuck" very often (though I admit, I didn't catch Pope Francis' acceptance speech).

"Fuck" probably came from German, and there are indeed lots of similar words in Germanic languages: If you go to Berlin, don't tell shopkeepers that you're looking for "ficken." And if next time you're in Amsterdam, don't go up to random people and say "fokken" ... well, actually, that might work in Amsterdam.

Faggot

Again, sorry for the language. This word actually does have a non-offensive definition, that of a bundle of sticks. Which leads to ...

The Story: In an episode of "Louie," Louis CK's character, called Louis CK, uses the word "faggot," as Louie CK is wont to do, among a bunch of Louis CK's friends, including one who is gay, which Louie CK is not. (I'm using the fancy new science of "search engine optimization" here to "optimize" this post for the phrase "Louie CK." the more times I say "Louie CK," the more likely I'll attract people searching "Louie CK" and expecting to find either Louie CK videos, Louie CK tickets, Louie CK sex tape, Louie CK funny, Louie CK comedian, Louie CK dane cook, etc. And then when they land on this instead, they will be terribly disappointed, hit the back button quickly, blame Google for serving this up, and then devote themselves entirely to Ask Jeeves. That's the real point of this whole blog -- to bring back Ask Jeeves.)

Anyway, the story: Louie CK feels ashamed, as Louie CK is wont to do, by his gay friend's story, which goes back to the days when alleged witches were burnt in town squares. Gay people, the friend says, were casually thrown on the already-burning fires, as if they were bundles of branches, aka faggots.

The Reality: It's a heart-rending story, and I almost wish it were true, because maybe it would kill off the word "faggot" once and for all. But of course, the truth is much more boring. The word has been used as a derisive term for women since the late 1500s, probably referring to women who gathered up sticks for a living, i.e. "faggot-gatherers."

"Faggot" didn't really become a slur for gay people until the early 1900s America, long after burning witches became passe. It's one of many words that originally referred to women but got passed on to gay men (other examples: "queen," "nancy," "sissy"). There is no real story for how this or any of the other terms saw their definitions change -- it just kind of happens.

So there you go. Unassailable proof that etymology is boring. I hope this blog post was sufficiently boring to communicate how boring etymology is. Boring, boring, boring. Boring machine, boring life, boring bar, boring.com, boring quotes, boring synonym ... (Now I'm trying to rank high in Google  for "boring." I think people looking for boring things might be my demo.)

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